If You Forget Me #71

[june72]

Kalni,
About the getting angry thing... I had different thoughts about that.
If you were to use a scale to gauge our emotions. At first we are detached and say our goal is the emotional level of zero. "I don't hate you, I don't love, I have no reponse to you what so ever" Make sense?


Well, the more we reinvest into our hubby's the more the pendulum swings. Now say you are 10 on the love scale but taht makes you to negative 10 on the same scale. You are capable of more anger and hurt since you are reconnecting with him. Make sense.


The connected and in love with him you feel the greater the possibility for feeling greater vulnerability, hurt and saddness.

Remember how on the message boards, A WAS will have a bonding, loving day and then have a pull back the next day?

I think that is what we experience. We can only handle closeness in small doses b/c we also experience pain and hurt with it. So we bond a little, pull back, bond some more, feel more hurt.


I feel, not sure others feel this, that I one day love my hubby soo very much and then the next day really, really hate him.

It's like how can I love someone and hate someone so much at the same time...

Anyhow, that is my thoughts on things.

And plus honestly, I think we want them to feel a little bit of our pain and to test them a bit. If we see they hurt with mean comments, they are having feelings for us. If we see they respond snarky back or in a bad mannor we gain valuable insight as to how much growth they have or have not done. A test of committment maybe.



Your hubby is a big boy and after all he has done. He can deal with a few snarky comments and pull backs. He has to stand strong. I don't expect you to be Mother Theresa. You are going to hurt and react from it. I personally see it as normal, JMHO.