I'm trying to understand what you are saying Kalni and as always I respect your advise~ so if you have time to clarify, I"ll appreciate it~
I do agree that I assumed. In defense of myself, my H does not go into the city early on SUnday mornings, at least in all the time I knew him. Being in the city on a Sunday morning -= well my guesses were quite good ones.
But yes, they were just guesses. I owned up to this in MC today, as well as the fact that I should have just plainly texted H: My mind is going in different directions, May I have an hour to calm myself down and I'll get back to you then.
And you are right, I don't know how I'll handle real minibombs. From the way I collapsed into instant panic yesterday on even a hint of it, I am very worried how I will handle this.
So it's back to self soothing, isnt' it Kalni?
And I'm trying to regroup and figure out how to be the better option - look at what makes him feel "more of the same" is happening with me and reverse it. I tried last year and I was on the wrong track. I'll write out more later but he has voiced it feels to him "nothing has changed and he doesn't think it will" and I know I have a lot of work to do to try to change me =
Also he voiced he feels we fundamentally "dont understand each other" so I think I need to do way less talking and way more listening and understanding.
so it's my new focus. MOre later, I'm exhausted. Haven't eaten in days.
BTW people, I'm letting S go to H's this thursday. Yes, FM, I'm finally doing it~! Thank you for kicking my butt on this one I have had a hard time letting go control - working on it.
