Tons of wisdom I did not ask for, and much of it I am not using properly, or timely enough, LOL.
My M is not going well, I've been displaced to a hotel room or a little over 3 months. Before that was 6 months sleeping in my own bed in the apartment, a couple nights a month she would lay in the bed with me for a little while. I had a low priority, but out the apartment my priority got even lower.
On the marriage counseling, use a voice activated recorder or write down every point she is using to distort. You have to respond to each of these points later in the session or in the next session so that there is parity and you guys are communicating properly.
In my first session my wife spoke 50 minutes to my 5 minutes. She could not help but to bash me a bit, but I got every bullet point down on paper and rebuttled each of them on paper. I'm going to ask the counselor to let me address these before we start the next session.
I sent my wife a positive email about "I appreciate everything you have done for me", this is back when she was helping me out. The reality which may actually be panning out is I had $$$ then, and maybe she was a "semi pro"... So, that sucks. I do think she was deep in love with me, and infatuation, and passion... But some of these guys are dealing with this "pro" bit and not accepting it. It be the same if she was a stripper or in that group. They have different rules, and they usually aren't going to fall in love with you or be in love with you.
I'm trying to stay positive in it, but I'm in some pain and it feels unhealthy. Plus some affirmation verbal and physical would really help me out, a couple of days in a row would change my entire perception. I haven't had that in several months.
However today I'm told that she doesn't have love for me, and definately is not in love with me. She's moving and not going to tell me the address. But I'm going to get that from the state. She also saw me today, and looked at me in a completely nuetral manner. She feels gone.
I was able to flip my polarity in the gym and get a focused and good workout. I believe I'm going to do "its about me" much of the time, it will be alot healthier than sharing with someone who is not sharing back.
Shoot, I felt better when she was on the "attack".
I still think I have a chance with it, but it feels like at this point I'm going to get alot more up front from someone who doesn't know how far they got over on me. Since my wife got over so far on me, its a lot of "stuff" she doesn't give freely. With other ladies who are attracted I get "it" up front. Thats the delimma.
My wife is a jealous lady though. And even though this piece of crap for a dad, and not good enough to be a husband is getting older.. Some of the ladies still like me. I'm thinking of working this, or just getting the good attention.
Right now while my wife can launch attacks without fear of reprisal, she has no compelling reason why she should "give" to me. I believe she was coached this point by her bull-lesbian aunt.
So its alot of angles. Plus you guys have given me arsenals and strategies to use, even near the last second.
My current strategy is 180, focused on "its all about me" in a positive way, MC inviting wife, Mothersday will be a reasonable gift from the kids, and cleaning up my personal image, mind and physique.
