No b/c I'm tired of always being the one to try to *fix* everything & know he gets irritated when I start asking what's going on w/ him. Like I said things haven't ever truly been "right" and so there have been other times when I've tried to talk to him about things & just always says everything is fine. He's told me he "knows when I start looking for things" when I feel things are just not quite right & wondering what's up, so I've tried to act like nothing is bothering me.
Over the weekend our son wanted to sleep w/ dad & then the next night he said since he slept w/ dad last night, he wanted to sleep w/ me that night & I fully expected H to veto that, but he didn't & I said "what, are we celebate now?" and he just shook his head & laughed & said no. So he knows I'm wondering what's up, but hasn't initiated any contact or anything.
But then tonight during our family prayer time before bed he prays that he is thankful for the 4 of us and can't imagine life w/o us. What's that about?
Like I said, I'm just so tired of living this way. I guess I still feel like I'm on egg shells at times. I still feel like he has the "upper hand" b/c I still get fearful when I think of losing him.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
