My WAW - Chat/Text Msg affair with her ex

[Dan1977]

I go to see my counselor tomorrow for the first time. I've never been to a counselor before, so it will be new and probably uneasy at first talking about everything I have going on right now face to face with someone I don't know. I still keep in the back of my mind that I should call one of these coaches because I want to focus on the future and how to move forward and I keep reading that counselors focus on the past for a long time. I want action, but it's a free benefit through work, so I'm willing to try some sessions and see what happens. Maybe this counselor is a subscriber to the divorce busting theory. I am going to take the book with me and talk to the counselor about what I've read and everything I've been reading from you guys on this discussion board...thanks a million by the way. I know I'm not a success story, but we are having good days and my family is still one and that is a positive in my mind.

Things have been going well with me and my wife last few days. We've been been very nice to each other and she texted me this morning that she had a very nice time with me this past weekend. I told her I enjoyed the weekend as well, and I added a little twist by telling her I was so glad she told me she was done talking to OM for our kids benefit even though I know she is still texting him. Tried to add a side of hidden guilt to her plate seeing how she said she wanted to work on "us" and she was going to stop talking to OM for our kids sake. I don't know, the texts are not like they were, it's not all night long and every opportunity she has. When it was on her old cell phone, it was every waking moment she was texting. Now that she has this prepaid phone it doesn't seem as frequent. Maybe it's because she is trying to hide it more from me. She told me "baby steps", and she wants to restore what we have lost. I agree with this, I don't want to jump right in (I do, but I don't. I want my wife back, but I want to regain our trust first) because it could crash and burn just as fast as it started. I want to believe my wife and I geniunely don't think she is just trying to set me up for disappointment, but I do think she is addicted to a drug otherwise known as an emotional affair and she's trying to kick the habit. I don't push for information, I just go with the flow and be happy that things seem pretty nice and not much tension at this point in time.

I've been down this path before though back in March. Things were going great, she was wearing her wedding ring and we were going out on dates, and then one weekend she went out and the texting started up like crazy and our marriage spiraled out of control fast. So, with that being said, even though it seems nice now, it could go south fast again. I want to have my ducks in a row so she won't want to leave the relationship to some other guy and hope she realizes that her family is what's best for her, I am what is best for her and I always want to be here for her.

I will update after I meet with the counselor tomorrow, wish me luck and thanks for sticking by my side.

Dan