still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[newmama]

Ok this is kind of strategic in a way. I don't know. So I am thinking about how this new arrangement and not seeing WH as much and it will really help me, sincerely, to detach. But hopefully it will also show WH the reality of what he is doing. I mean I am still expecting him to divorce me. But have 5% hope that it won't happen. (can't help the hope)

Up until now, I dressed nice and looked good in front of him 98% time. If I want to "act as if" I am moving on until I am successful at making it happen, then me looking good all the time in front of him will not look like I am doing anything different than before. He knows I still want to be married and want him back- I told him last month when he brought up D last. Therefore, he probably realized me looking good was not about dating but about him. KWIM? I blew my cover!

If I go through a period of time where sometimes I look nice, sometimes not, sometimes the house is clean, sometimes not (I kept it clean this whole time), then when I do look good and the house is clean it will raise curiosity and mystery. Does this make sense at all?

I think that normal people who don't know about DBing or follow it would be very depressed when told their spouse wants a D and act that way and the spouse could tell. There wouldn't be any game playing. When normal people move on, they change their dress and attitude and it is obvious that there is a change.

SO I am thinking I should kind of act that way for a little bit (not mopey but like I described above) because when I truly have started to move on, the change will be dramatic....go from sometimes looking nice to always looking nice, wearing new perfume, continued weight loss, relaxed happy behavior, sexy clothes,arranging changes in the schedule to allow time for me to date (well he won't know why I wonder if we could switch Fri and Sat next week or let him have S overnight on a Thurs night, KWIM? BUt that will be sincerely for when I am dating).