Messed up

[jt2007]

Its been a long day.

Working out my mind what really is going on with (x)h.

I cant understand this because I have of mixed up lines.
And trying to untangle a few I have come up with this:

1. (x)H had.. maybe still is--having an emotional affair--
(as he has not taken her pic off his desk and says he will never stop being her friend)
--he has had several of these little affairs I noticed over the years now that didnt pan out for him.

he didnt believe there was any such thing as an emotional affair.But ..he was having it.(I have proof on disk--lots of text and emails--private conversations--meetings in front of kids so I wouldnt think he was cheating(why was he worried , I dint express a worry)--and not letting me speak with her or be involved with her before I know it was an emotional affiar)

2.
He brought it into our kids lives and family home instead of keeping it descrete-- letting it all roll out right in front of me

4. I have no Idea how in the world to compete with an EMotional AFFair---he has with a married woman-- who admitted (in emial to "fanning the flames")

Sounds horrible but I would much rather it had been a physical affair...at least I would know there would be hope he could come out of fantasy world with it.

5.
I dont understand what the stages of an emotional affair are

All I know is he is not getting over it.


6. He is also going through the MLC, his whole life is "crap"... and emotional affair


7. I gave him what he wanted that he asked for..kids house everything.
Now, he complains and gets upset and frustrated with it

8. I dont know how I am suppose to be a long distance parent.
Kids dont like talking for an hour to them on the phone
try to help with their homework, and talk about their day, needs and wants.
Both the kids and me are used to having eachother accessible at our convenience, for all those "little things" that come up....concentrated time seems to do away with that.

9.
(x)H says I am not being a mother I abandoned them..

.I remind him that I am further away and he was the one that forced them away from me he wanted a divorce and everything...I will always be what ever I can for them as close to what I have been for the past 16yrs their MOM..

sorry he is having to be a more envolved dad now..according to kids not doing to hot at it.

(yes I am feeling a little upset at this..and frustration)


10. He still says I make him cry when he thinks about me..wth

11. He says its all my fault , I was suppose to be "the one"

12. He has no faith he will ever have those emotions towards me, I am not capable of being what he wants, like OW, says if I was then He wouldnt have felt need to go to her



not to much clearer..but at least in some sort of string line.