We are no longer speaking. He is ignoring me and said to my mother that he is doing it to not hurt me? What a cheap shot!
Cant get myself into Baby mode these days and it scares me. I dont even want a shower with my own family and friends. 4 months later I am more heartbroken than ever. Everyone around me no longer wants to hear it or talk to me about it bc they think i should be over it and only think of the baby. I would agree to that BUT HOW???
BD, it will change. there will be a time when you are speaking, you just need to get there with baby steps. don't panic (yep, easier said than done!!!)
I have also gone through extended moments where i cant think about the baby. normal. Just have a list of the practical things you need to achieve (classes, purchases) and do them in your spare time.
as for the shower, let/ask a friends to arrange it for you. of course you can't do it on your own. I don't normally like gift registries, but you could ask your friend to organise one for you to help on the financial front. you don't need one hundred paris of booties - this is an unusual situation you are in, so you need to be creative. tohers will really want to show their support for you. take ALL the help you can get.
About friends being sick of the story. They are probaly at a loss of what to do. You need just one person to rely on. we are here for you, but you need one physical presence also. If you need a disclaimer for your down moods, day "I am really sorry that I keep talking about this but I really need you just listen to me today...or let me get this off my chest...".
If it helps BD, I spend 80% of my talking time talking about my sitch.
I saw the psych again the other day at hte maternity hospital and he said what i/we are going through is repeated trauma (being pregnant makes it impossible to detach or accept) and that this will take a very, very long time.
You cannot 'get over it' - you are going through a protratced grieving process where this is NO closure because of the baby. No closure.
