I don't think you want too much! I will say, generally speaking, I DO think your H needs to get his train on the track before you do couple's counseling.
In my opinion he should at least have started going to counseling himself or whatever route he chooses for self improvement, and be on his way before you start couple's work. He may not be 'finished' with his self-improvement, but I think it should be well under way.
I say this bc with my H, we got to a point where our marriage counselor said we could make no forward progress unless/until H started going alone with another counselor to sort his own mess. She said until he had himself figured out he would not be healthy enough to work on our issues as a couple...and I am sure the same is/was true of me.
Now I know what I want and do not want and if exH ever decided he wanted back 'in' (not likely) there is a lot of work I would expect from him before I would give that a shot.
Just put kids to bed, they are sleepy tonight! MIL called earlier and said that Nathan seemed down this weekend, was there something wrong. I just said, "Yeah, he doesn't like our situation and the fact that his dad's choices mean he has to live in two places and all that comes with that." She said, "Well, I wondered if that was it..." and tried to pump me for more information while telling me/bragging that she has been on exH's case about getting his house in order. I just told her I had done all I could and it was out of my hands and got off the phone...seriously! She did toss out a, "Well you may not be the wife anymore but I am still the mom so I can tell him what to do"...gee thanks for that reminder...wonder why he thinks women are controlling and manipulative?!
Ah well, won't let it wreck my evening! Gentleman on match has emailed me a couple of times, "Good family oriented italian guy" is how he describes himself. Christian, 31 (younger), likes to golf, wants to call me so we can get to know each other and go out. Said he golfs about 20 times a year and thinks it would be fun to golf with me. Told me he thinks I am pretty and appear to have a good head on my shoulder and be a solid person unlike a lot of profiles he has read, etc etc. We'll see...
Ouch, starting to be sore from boot camp. Not looking forward to how long it will take to get out of bed in the morning...yikes!
