Just wanted to let you know I have caught up with your sitch after giving DB forum a rest for about 6months. It took me nearly a full week to catch up on your threads as I had a back injury and the painkillers kept sending me to sleep!
I think you're awesome and I'm soooo beyond glad you finally told the kids you are divorced (or in kids speak, not getting back together). Your kids sound extra smart - they know deep down what was going on and as someone else said, they wanted you to clarify it for them.
I'm still separated and extremely tired of limbo. H doesn't want a divorce and wants to spend time together but won't commit to couples counselling till he gets his own train back on track. Sounds mature doesn't it? Only thing is, we have been separated for three years now and I'm pretty resentful that he gets 'all this time and space' to work on himself and I feel like I'm struggling to keep my head above water just with day to day life. I just want a mature relationship where there is teamwork, structure, planning and connection and conversation and....
Maybe I want too much.
Anyway,.... returning you to your regular BBJ programming.
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
Ladies, It's like we follow the same script with just different scenes. I lost 50 lbs after X left in 2007. I have now gained 30 lbs back. Went from size 18 to 8 now to 14. And my body feels it!! Now am dealing with Arther in the knees. I want to lose some of this weight again so I don't hurt so. And I looked "good" back then. Started the gym last week. Any suggestions????
was theotherhalf M43 H43 M22 T25 MLC/OW bomb 4/07 Hmoved out 8/07 D6/09 Still trying to accept and move on...
I don't think you want too much! I will say, generally speaking, I DO think your H needs to get his train on the track before you do couple's counseling.
In my opinion he should at least have started going to counseling himself or whatever route he chooses for self improvement, and be on his way before you start couple's work. He may not be 'finished' with his self-improvement, but I think it should be well under way.
I say this bc with my H, we got to a point where our marriage counselor said we could make no forward progress unless/until H started going alone with another counselor to sort his own mess. She said until he had himself figured out he would not be healthy enough to work on our issues as a couple...and I am sure the same is/was true of me.
Now I know what I want and do not want and if exH ever decided he wanted back 'in' (not likely) there is a lot of work I would expect from him before I would give that a shot.
Just put kids to bed, they are sleepy tonight! MIL called earlier and said that Nathan seemed down this weekend, was there something wrong. I just said, "Yeah, he doesn't like our situation and the fact that his dad's choices mean he has to live in two places and all that comes with that." She said, "Well, I wondered if that was it..." and tried to pump me for more information while telling me/bragging that she has been on exH's case about getting his house in order. I just told her I had done all I could and it was out of my hands and got off the phone...seriously! She did toss out a, "Well you may not be the wife anymore but I am still the mom so I can tell him what to do"...gee thanks for that reminder...wonder why he thinks women are controlling and manipulative?!
Ah well, won't let it wreck my evening! Gentleman on match has emailed me a couple of times, "Good family oriented italian guy" is how he describes himself. Christian, 31 (younger), likes to golf, wants to call me so we can get to know each other and go out. Said he golfs about 20 times a year and thinks it would be fun to golf with me. Told me he thinks I am pretty and appear to have a good head on my shoulder and be a solid person unlike a lot of profiles he has read, etc etc. We'll see...
Ouch, starting to be sore from boot camp. Not looking forward to how long it will take to get out of bed in the morning...yikes!
Ladies, It's like we follow the same script with just different scenes. I lost 50 lbs after X left in 2007. I have now gained 30 lbs back. Went from size 18 to 8 now to 14. And my body feels it!! Now am dealing with Arther in the knees. I want to lose some of this weight again so I don't hurt so. And I looked "good" back then. Started the gym last week. Any suggestions????
Zumba Zumba Zumba....everyone I know who has tried it, loves it. Elliptical is great though for tender knees as it is low/no impact. Swimming if you like swimming, I am not a good swimmer so I don't, I prefer lounging in the pool or playing around with the kids vs. lap swimming.
Gentleman on match has emailed me a couple of times, "Good family oriented italian guy" is how he describes himself. Christian, 31 (younger), likes to golf,
Nothing wrong with a good family oriented italian guy. I think we know someone that fits that description.
I take offense to that picture Kerry posted....LOLOL I bet even that hairy guy has done "it" in the past 23 months! All joking aside, most italians are family oriented and pretty good guys nothwithstanding the womanizing stereotypes...
BBJ, it must suck to get calls from the MIL. I don't think my STBX MIL has my phone number. I'm guessing I'll see/talk to her three four times a year from now on.
Be glad you're 34. I played two softball games, just two, and I did not want to get off the couch this morning. This last winter of open men's basketball I think is my last.
Funny/sad thing from D7 yesterday. We were over at the house -- I don't call it STBXW's house -- waiting for the afterschool sitter. We were sitting under a tree while D7 read from a book. She stopped and asked "why don't you just move back in?"
I told her I'd like to but mommy doesn't want me too.
"She doesn't?"
No. I told her. And if I did she'd be really mad.
I love that kid and now she's finally growing up after all of her ADHD issues.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Seriously I don't know how you find those links!