Just checking in. Thanks for your supportive post.
I guess--in the way of veterans comparing war wounds--knowing that X left for OW is a least a "reason.' Sounds like you were left to wonder always why--how has he kept this A/OW under wraps for so long?
It's so bizarre--when you have lost your eyes, you envy the deaf guy. The deaf guy envies the guy who can hear, but lost his legs. The quadrapalegic who can hear and see envies the deaf guy who can walk.
Each of us has our own pain, and tolerance for handling it. And each of us says...but at least so and so has the comfort/knowledge/satisfaction of such and such.
All I can say--I never knew such a universe of pain existed. And I look a little more carefully at everyone--everyone! now, wondering: what's his/her pain? cause no matter how on top of it s/he looks, s/he sure has something going on...and I hope that helps me to be nicer and more patient as I move through this frigging process.