Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[newmama]

WOW BD....this sounds soooooo similar to what I went through with WH last year during my pregnancy. He had all of those same reasons for wanting to be involved and he wanted to go together to get baby stuff.

OK. You said you can be calm, cool and collected during your time with him. It is when you get home that you feel weak.

So what are you afraid will happen when you are feeling weak?Is it having to feel pain and sadness? Are you worried you will do something like lash out at him? What?

I will tell you that after contact with WH, I always felt sad. Somewhere I read that "no contact means no new hurts." Kind of bad grammar but I get the meaning behind the phrase, don't you?

The reasons I agreed to everything was that 1) I was so afraid WH would abandon S once he was born or at any point before so I wanted him to bond and get attached and 2) I was hoping the bonding would make him want to be with me.

I achieved #1- he became attached to S! If you do want your H to be attached deeply to your son, this will work. BUT he can still get attached after his birth!!! I didn't know that.