Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Update on my sitch. Nothing new with W. Still have not heard from her for over a week and a half. No big deal, I'm leaving her alone.

Her birthday was last Friday and I did send her flowers. I just wrote on the card that I was thinking of her and wished her a happy birthday. I haven't heard from her about the flowers but I don't care. I didn't send them for a reaction from her. I sent them to let her know that I was thinking of her on her birthday. I figure she didn't contact me for the past week because she knew I would do something for her birthday. I don't want to pursue. My IC said it wouldn't hurt to send some flowers just so she knows that I still care. That's all I did. Nothing mushy. I also asked a friend of mine who is around my W's age and is also currently separated if she thought it was appropriate to send the flowers. She said that she would still want her H to send her flowers on her birthday even though they are separated. It was a tough decision.

Found out some interesting news today. Today I finally told many of my close friends that my W and I were separated. One of my friends tells me that my W called him in February. He said my W wanted to know if I had told anyone that we were separated. She told him the situation. My friend didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to let me know he knew. He said that it is none of his business and he figured I would let him know about my W and I when I was ready.

He said he was very uncomfortable with the whole conversation. He told my W that it was none of his business and he made it a short phone conversation and got off of the phone. He bascially said my W asked if I had told anyone. She told him that we weren't getting along very well lately. What? Not getting along very well? We had just gone on a vacation together 3 weeks before she left me. I don't get that at all. She went on to say that she needed to move on and she was happier now. My friend told her that he was shocked and didn't know what to say. He said if that is her decision then that's her decision but he thought she should take some time first. He's a good friend and has been through a divorce himself.

My friend and I talked for about an hour today. He gave me a lot of insight to his divorce. He told me that he gave his W time and space and she did come back and ask to work things out. Unfortunately they did not work things out in the end for their own reasons.

So I'm looking for some advice and insight. Why would my W call my friend and ask him if I had told anyone? Why would she feel the need to tell my friend that she needed to move on, it was time for a change and is happier. Why would she tell him that she felt that we didn't get along lately? Is this just normal WAW stuff for them to lessen their guilt and justify their actions of separating?

I'm sure my W would not be happy if I called her friends about our sitch. Why did she feel the need to call mine? Why would she care if I told anyone? This is all very confusing. What my W told my friend back in February is different that what another person told me she said recently...withing the past month. This other person said that very recently my W said that we were "coming along" and "we are in a better place now". This person said that my W was saying good things about me for all of the hard work I was doing to fix up the house. This person said that she felt I should hang in there and try to be patient. She thought that my W would come around.

I'm so confused at times lately. I hear one person tell me one thing and another person tell me something else. I guess it makes sense that my W said those things to my friend back in February. I hadn't done a lot of my changes yet. At the end of March my W finally admitted that she saw some changes in me. I guess that after hearing this news today from my friend it brought me back to where things were a couple of months ago. I still tend to believe that there are some very small signs of improvement but if she still has the same mindset today that she had back in February then perhaps we haven't made any progress yet. She hasn't given me any indications one way or another recently. She did cry when we signed the papers to list the house for sale so I believe their is still some emotion there. Am I wrong?

I'll continue to keep things friendly with my W. I will not contact her so she has her space. Sorry for the long post. I've been doing well lately but this news from my friend today sort of got me thinking and probably overanalyzing too much. I keep telling myself to take things one day at a time.

I could really use some opinions on my questions in this post. Thanks for listening.