I'm actually doing really well with my anger (so yes, but to a healthy degree)...today when speaking with my dad who was livid (he and my H were very close and have remained civil but my dad is fed up now), I told him that what helps me with my anger in dealing with H is that I really feel sorry for H, not making excuses, just pity him so I don't kill him.
I am most angry that he doesn't have the balls to take action and file. He is a lazy selfish baby who wont take responsibility for his family and where he fits in it. So, that I have to be the one to file is infuriating. That I had to tell my kids last night, when we were looking at a new place, that daddy will most likely not be living in our next house with us (they were wondering if the place was too small to fit him and I couldn't bring myself to say 100% he's not going to be there). THAT is what infuriates me, that it looks like I am shutting daddy out and making all of the decisions, that I have to witness and absorb all their pain when he is off in nowhere land completely oblivious to the hell of this all.
I'm a big girl, I can handle my heartache and accept that I married a very juvenile individual who may not have been who I thought he was.
But, when it comes to my kids, how can I not be angry at someone who is hurting my children??? That is a hurdle I will probably have to work on for the rest of my life.
