Oh, I wasn't suggesting you say anything to your W about her choice in friends. Just keep observing what she does and who she does it with.
If she tries to initiate a R talk simply tell her you are not ready for one. Honestly, unless you are both in IC I don't see how any R talk can be productive. Right now all you do is trigger each other's negative qualities. And you both have too much that has to be worked out as individuals.
You need to focus on YOUR positives. You like your job and co-workers, you seem to be doing well at work, you are earning money again, you have structure and are developing better sleep patterns. All good things for YOU.
Oh, I wasn't suggesting you say anything to your W about her choice in friends. Just keep observing what she does and who she does it with.
If she tries to initiate a R talk simply tell her you are not ready for one. Honestly, unless you are both in IC I don't see how any R talk can be productive. Right now all you do is trigger each other's negative qualities. And you both have too much that has to be worked out as individuals.
You need to focus on YOUR positives. You like your job and co-workers, you seem to be doing well at work, you are earning money again, you have structure and are developing better sleep patterns. All good things for YOU.
Yep I'm focusing on my positives but I do also think one thing. I think I'm going to have to say something about the lying from WAW I can't take it anymore.
I'm wondering if I should say anything cause she just flat out lies to my face and i'm wondering if I should just take a stand and maybe d/c the phone.
I'm not going to support her talking to her E.A. (even if he likes women) on the phone.
I'm tired of the bs. I'm getting fed up with it. I don't deserve to be treated so shytty.
I'm thinking the next time we talk to tell her I won't share her, I won't take the lies anymore or any of t hat crap and just have to enforce the boundary even if it means losing her because this is absolutely ridiculous.
before I do it I'm just wondering what you think C.G. good idea? bad idea?
so much for need time and space and to think about her thoughts. she's managed to talk to toxic ex mutual friend several times. attempt to call E.A. and make other calls as well while good ole H just gets avoided and lied to.
I dont really know how much more of this I can take or be patient about.
Last edited by james217; 05/03/1011:17 PM.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
Oh, I wasn't suggesting you say anything to your W about her choice in friends. Just keep observing what she does and who she does it with.
If she tries to initiate a R talk simply tell her you are not ready for one. Honestly, unless you are both in IC I don't see how any R talk can be productive. Right now all you do is trigger each other's negative qualities. And you both have too much that has to be worked out as individuals.
You need to focus on YOUR positives. You like your job and co-workers, you seem to be doing well at work, you are earning money again, you have structure and are developing better sleep patterns. All good things for YOU.
Yep I'm focusing on my positives but I do also think one thing. I think I'm going to have to say something about the lying from WAW I can't take it anymore.
I'm wondering if I should say anything cause she just flat out lies to my face and i'm wondering if I should just take a stand and maybe d/c the phone.
I'm not going to support her talking to her E.A. (even if he likes women) on the phone.
I'm tired of the bs. I'm getting fed up with it. I don't deserve to be treated so shytty.
I'm thinking the next time we talk to tell her I won't share her, I won't take the lies anymore or any of t hat crap and just have to enforce the boundary even if it means losing her because this is absolutely ridiculous.
before I do it I'm just wondering what you think C.G. good idea? bad idea?
so much for need time and space and to think about her thoughts. she's managed to talk to toxic ex mutual friend several times. attempt to call E.A. and make other calls as well while good ole H just gets avoided and lied to.
I dont really know how much more of this I can take or be patient about.
I meant to say even if the e.a. likes men
She doesn't respect me. Otherwise she wouldn't lie to me all of the damage this ex mutual friend has done to our M and she still talks to her?
She has instigated drama lied tried to play both sides of the fence and I cannot take this anymore.
She's going to have to make a choice. Ill have to live with it. No more mr nice guy
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
She has already made her choice and now you get to make yours and let that be that or you will have to do something else.
I am confused... do you speak to your W?
I have been N.C since this past tuesday.
She has sent me text and pics of sd8 and an email stating how much she loved sd8 and the boys and me as well. I talked to her on Friday via text to pass on the job info.
The email was BEFORE she began talking to toxic ex mutual friend again
But in her text they are flatout lies. I don't respond to them but all this talk about thinking about our R and the kids are lies.
I got the phone bill our billing cycle started today so I know she's been on the phone with this drama queen for hours probably starting more crap.
Today s10 wanted to talk to waw and he was demanding to and she doesn't respond yet she's busy thinking and gathering her thoughts on the phone with this toxic woman who wants nothing more but for us to be apart.
The things she said about me waw and even the kids hurt me so bad I refused to talk to her again. Waw demanded the emails so I forwarded them to her.
One of my boundaries was for her to leave this woman alone. She agreed for 3 weeks nothing then she starts it up again.
It causes major problems. And I'm extremely pissed because I tried to do a 3way for s10 checked the phone records and she cannot answer cause she's on the phone with this woman?
S10 started crying. He blames himself just like he did when his biomom left him for four years and then tried to come back and their relationship is extremely damaged waw told him shed never abandon him and how much she loved and cared last Saturday only to hurt him like this again
now he's crying. great. gotta love it.
Last edited by james217; 05/03/1011:57 PM.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
I should not have let her talk to him last week she begged me to and he had been begging to talk to and see her for months even before she left. now I've allowed him to be hurt
Last edited by james217; 05/04/1012:15 AM.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
You are still getting fantastic support so I am not going to say anything except for this...
Originally Posted By: James217
I'm wondering if I should say anything cause she just flat out lies to my face and i'm wondering if I should just take a stand and maybe d/c the phone.
Just disconnect the phone with no notice to her...
Confronting her on lying to your face is just going to bring about more lies to your face.
Take the stand.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Stop and think. If your W cannot even respect YOU why do you think she will respect YOUR children? You have gotten a very clear picture of how your W behaves so exposing your children to further hurt is confusing to me. Your children are so fragile right now and your W will do them NO GOOD at this time. I don't care if she begs or cries. Tough.
Just because your W 'demands' you do something doesn't mean you have to do it. Set boundaries and mean them. Any hurt your W causes your children this point forward is on you as you can stop the contact. Please do that. Your children need protection right now.
