I know I said I had to take a break, and I am. I need to journal here for a minute as I find it is easy to come back here and find dates and times so I don't have to keep a record of anything at home where W might find it.
I went out Thurs, and Fri. nite and was home before 10:00 each night. W had a memorial service to go to for a friend's husband. She works with this lady and her H died in a car wreck. He was 83. W had to work from 4 to 12 Sat and left from work to pick friend up and go to the bar where memorial was. I called W at work to tell her that her brother had called to say he and his W had their baby. (A healthy little girl!) I then told her I was going out tonite with my sister and some friends to listen to another friend's band. She said she wouldn't be late, she had been up since 3:00am and had to work at the same time again in the morning. She was planning on being home by 7 or 8, 9 at the latest. I said no problem, the kids would be at my mom's, just pick them up whenever you get there.
My mom called me at @ 8:30 to ask me to tell my W that one of the kids was getting worried that she wasn't there yet and ask her to call him to calm him down. I tried talking to him but he wanted to talk to mom. I texted W: u need to call my mom's-S9 is getting worried and almost crying. W texted back: did u tell him a time. I said-no.
She then called about 15 min later, all pissed off. It was after 9 at this time. Asked me what I had told my mom. Nothing, I said, why, what's going on? She said nothing and sounded like she was crying. I said if it's that bad, I would leave and go get the kids. Nothing. Hello, did you hear me?
She had hung up.
I tried calling her back four times and she ignored each call. I went back to listening to the band and had a great time. Didn't have a single beer, drank coke all night. It would have been too easy to start drinking and not know when to say when.
Got home @ 2:00am. S3 was in bed with W so I slept on couch. She came in and woke me up at 3:30 so I would sleep with him. Said he was scared. I didn't say anything, got up and got in bed with my son.
The kids and I had our normal Sun. Went to the park and played and tried to fly kites. Not windy enough. Had a picnic lunch then went home around 1:00. W got home soon after and I was folding laundry. Said hi to the kids and stomped around the kitchen for a while. Didn't speak to me for 45 minutes. I finally went into the bedroom and said to her: "W, you have no excuse to treat me the way that you are. You have no excuse to hang up on me the way you did and then ignore my return calls."
She started in about how I knew she had this memorial service and I went and made plans and had been out the last three night. Then I TOLD her she needed to go pick the kids up. I said that I NEVER told her to go pick them up. I told her she needed to call to calm S9 down. She say it was implied and from my txt, it was clear that I wanted her to go get them right now. I told her none of that is true, that she was making stuff up.
It devolved into "this is over, I'm done, I was this close to throwing your sh!t out in the yard and locking you out of the house." I agreed that it was over, but she needed to be the one to leave. It was her decision. She said, " Don't think I won't take these kids and leave. You have left them the last three nights, you don't care about them, blah, blah, blah." I agreed again, you're right, it is over, you should leave. BTW, have you talked to a L yet? Because if you do leave and take the kids, you will need a L. You won't keep our kids from me. She said why would you jump straight to something like that? WTF?!
This went on for a while, she was crying, old stuff was rehashed, I agreed and validated when necessary and didn't argue. I told her if it is over, and there is no chance of her trying counseling or anything, then let's not waste time and she needed to get the ball rolling. If she wouldn't file, I would.
Long story short, she is still here. She backed off some. This is the second time I have told her to go ahead and go, that I would fight for the kids. She asked why it had to be a fight. Gee, I don't know.
Don't know if I handled it exactly right, but now I have a record of the date for future reference.
