Whitney, how did it go on Sat.? I am now 7 days with no contact but an email he sent regarding the taxes and I only replied "ok", don't think I have ever done that! It is hard to sit here at work cause I am logged into IM and so is he, but I resist and make no contact at all, even about the kids!
I am coming closer and closer to realizing that although I wish I could have my life back, my family whole, etc. it would never be the same if I did! He is not the same person and is still in MLC big time, it's just that now the OW is gone. I thought when the OW dumped him, he would snap out of all this and want to come home. Not the case.
It hurts that he can act like our trip never happened and all that went with it, and is just off dating and doing his thing again without a thought to me or the kids. But, that is who he is now and I have to find a way to accept it and keep moving forward. He is one man in this world an although he was suppose to be my man and my husband forever, he isn't anymore. He seems fine with it, so why can't I be?
I agree about the time with the kids and all. I have tried to get this across to my ex, that he is missing so much with the kids for no reason! He just doesn't care! He enjoys living like a 21 yr. old now, but one day he will regret it all! I don't know how he couldn't, it might not be until he is on his death bed, but I can't save him. I am seeing my kids grow up each and everyday! I am sad cause my D17 is going to live with him for her senior year. But, I want her to be happy and be with her friends that he forced us to leave behind when he did all this to us. My kids should have never had to give up anything because of his choices, but they have had to give up the most and he could careless. I don't want a man who can watch his kids be miserable and suffer because of him thinking he deserves to be "happy" more than they do! What kind of father is that? He has sat back and watched their whole life have to change for one reason, cause he wanted to be with a that ho and live in a fantasy world with her instead of reality with us. Where is she now? No where to be found, but I'm still here holding on to a shell of a man from 700 miles away! Something is wrong with me!
I have such hate for him right now, but I contiue to pray for the hate to end again. I move close to forgiveness and then something happens to bring back the hate! Oh well, I could go on and on!
Fill me in on what has happened with you!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
