Try to stay cool as best you can, sounds like you are doing OK despite your W's best efforts at setting you off.
I'm a bit of the same way with my sitch, W hasn't thrown OM in my face but has done enough, such as posting him on her FB page, even prefacing it with an email to me saying "I know you will be bothered..."
What she and OM do is water off a duck's back with me now. I just get irritated when she is with our kids and does stuff with the OM.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09