DLS, I dont know that there is OW. H moved back home with parents and they say he is home every night (not that he can't be playing during the day). H is a FT grad student in an intense medical program and graduates soon. He is working (for free as a student) clinicals at the hosptal 40 hours a week plus classes, and I know he doesnt have any money. So I am not sure where OW would fit in... unless she is broke like him and understands. I also think sometimes that maybe he has in eye on someone and by all means when he starts working and has two pennies in his pocket I am sure he will be out and about and will have OW right by his side.
I do talk to him in that voice and when I am my most normal and calm self, i can see the difference it makes and how it draws him close. But then I always manage to ruin it by saying something about us. I am 7 1/2 months pregnant (H wanted to start a family) and H would like to be friends...
How do I know the difference between cake eating and friendship as the start of reconciliation.
Everyone we know has said something or other to him that what he is doing is wrong and he will live to regret it. H is the type of person (not that i know him much apparantly) that gets withdrawn and will try to prove to everyone that h will be happy and its not the wrong choice. He also had people from the University program reach out to him, other adults who have had marital hardships while in the program, family, frinds, everyone. there is one BAD seed in his life. An old friend, whom H was very close too. Went seperate ways and kept in touch lightly. In December I noticed they started chatting, sports, wives etc. etc. H stayed away from old friend mainly bc his character changed. This other guy cheated on his wife (while they were going through fertility treatments to get PG), got involved with the wrong crowd, blah blah blah. I didnt say dont be friends with him as H was always a grounded, sound person with morals and didnt think it would make a difference if they just were occasional friends. H went out with this friends the same night we announced we were pregnant, and told him that he was unhappy with me. Friend, I am almost 100% positive, told him to leave. A baby is no reason to stay. All of H's good friends (mutual friends) have dropped him bc they are crushed by his action and dont understand what happened.
Jstar, I understand about the deadline on the sitch. I made the mistake of telling H as of May 1 I was done, as it was 4 months since he left, and I have to focus on the baby. He got upset and said first an ultimatum and now a deadline...
I said it was more than you ever gave me... Instead you left the first you said you werent happy.
