still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[newmama]

Gatsby, I just re-read my response to DLS and I don't see where I said anything about being foolish for thinking WH would return after S' birth. I really thought he would! I said I did everything DLS suggested and it didn't work.

I still believe that for you 3 (you, Piano and Babydoll), your H's may come around post birth! I have read it happen to many others in the marriagebuiders forums and the surviving infidelity forums.

I do think it is smart though for you all to prepare to be single moms (mentally) so that it will make it easier to do the DBing tactics you need to do.

Hell no I won't wait 3 years! People have been telling me on my thread that WH could do this limbo forever. I knew he wouldn't and I knew that I would get to a point when I wouldn't-

Here is what I do know. I will take some time to really focus on me and be the best newmama possible, to heal and then start dating. I could see myself starting to date maybe within the next year. When I do start dating, it will be with quality guys who want a family or who have a family already. lol- divorced of course! (I wonder how many will be divorce to do infidelity though!)

I really really need to shut WH out and not consider him a possibility so that I can detach. I need to not see him or interact with him. I tried to detach while he was hanging at the house but it was too impossible. I do still love him but he is with OW and doesn't want me! So there ain't nuthin I can do about that.


Ok one more comment about divorce- I think it was you who said that if you divorced, you didn't think that would prevent you and your H from ending up together. I remember reading how you weren't "afraid" of it and just wanted to get it over with. So now I am minimizing divorce and look at my SIL who remarried her H after he divorced her and see anything is possible. The other benefit of divorce is if they want to come back to us, (at least for me) I would be able to hold a higher standard than if he came back during limbo.