yes, we need to stop double-guessing, what-iffing, kicking ourselves.
It's funny, I was doing The Work in my head--I think Flowmom triggered it--and realized that instead of "I need X to forgive me" (is that really true? do I really NEED that?) The truth is "I need to forgive myself."
And that is true. If I don't forgive myself, well, gosh, I'll be a pile of physical and mental/emotional rubble soon. Wait, I am that already! Well, it won't get better, that's for sure.
I'm sorry you had to find all the love notes as you were purging. What did you do with them? burn them? I find that very satisfying.
I put all our photo albums in a bin, to be stored in the garage, with a label: Someone else can look at this when I am dead. No, not really, but something like that.
A tough weekend--May 1, 10 month anniversary Bomb; X and OW are marking a lovely 1 year anniversary; and hiding out of the house all weekend as X moved the last of his stuff out.
Ummm...I will confess that the weekend was made more than tolerable by umm...."keeping company" with my Town Meeting Escort. He seems happy to help me heal in all sorts of ways, if you get my drift. So I had lots of distraction, at least!
