It seems that you want WAH to be around to do practical duties. I also told my WH that I wanted him to do that. (This was a long time ago now.) But then when I realized it would be simply functional and he would be withholding his emotions and emotional support to me, I realized it wasn't what I wanted. But it seems you know that you want that from your WAH. I think you're looking at the bigger picture of the birth/transition and trying to protect him from himself.
That's okay, but I guess the person I care the most about in this sitch is you. Yes, he might miss a huge transition in his daughter's life (because he might say no!). He's been missing quite a bit already!
But I hope that if he says no, you can fully own this transition with other friends. Actually, I hope you can fully own it even if he says okay! He could say okay and then back out last minute. . . I just don't think he's reliable right now at all. But I'd hate for your state of mind at this time to be so influenced by him.
I don't know if you should say all of those things at the end. "Okay H, thanks for considering my offer. I guess I took you at face value when you said you cared and loved this baby and wanted to help out. That's fine, I'll ask someone else." I think this shows too much hurt and anger. If he says no, I think you should just say "Okay."
Thinking of you today!
me, 30 WH, 29 D born June 2010 M: July 2001 Bomb/S: 1/14/10 Done with it all.
