She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[tbart01]

I have absolutely no idea what's going on or what to do. She came to the house yesterday and brought all her stuff in and told D14 she was here to stay.

Th previous night we took D14 to dinner and a movie for her birthday. My insisted on taking separate vehicles which set the tone of the night. After my W left my D14 said that she thought W was having fun staying where she is and just visiting us. She had said prior that she also felt W had abandoned them, which she shared with W.

I text my W yesterday to let her know the things that were going through my D head. She text me back that it was my job to man up and stand by her side and tell my D that it is more difficult on my W than she could imagine. It is has more to do with my attitude than my W actions.

I was floored by this and text her back that I've done nothing but defend her from the beginning with everyone. I said I was tired of standing up for her and it was time she owned up to the fact hat it was her actions not my attitude that was making my D feel the way she does.

Some hours later my W pulls up in the driveway and starts bringing her stuff in. I went to see what she was doing and she told me not to talk to her, so I let her be. Like I said she told my D14 that she was here to stay. My D14 picked up on my W hinting that I wouldn't let her see the kids enough so she had to do this.

My D14 has always told her that my W had a choice and staying away was hers. She would always tell D14 when she got off the phone to kiss and hug D4 for her. My D would get off the phone and tell me she hates it when she says that because she could just come and do it herself. In a nutshell, my daughter isn't stupid and she gets it more than my W thinks.

She was fake with the kids all night and made for a very uncomfortable environment. This was a very peaceful household with just the girls and I, and they enjoyed being with me. She's causing more harm than she is good.

When she went to bed last night she closed and locked our bedroom door. I knocked on the door and told her she didn't need to lock me out of my room. I grabbed some stuff and I told her that if this is how she's going to act I don't want her to come back tomorrow night.

She then tried to blame this on me by telling me I wasn't saying the right things to D14. I told her that she needed to go take a look in the mirror and stop trying to cast the blame on me. I was very firm, but not angry or argumentative. I told her not to accuse me of putting my D14 in the middle because that was the pot calling the kettle black.

If you recall she pulled my D14 in the middle when she decided to tell her months before I got home from Afghanistan. She has been bad mouthing me to D14 since last April and continues to do so till this day. I have yet to say anything negative about my W to my D14 yet.

She closed the door and locked it and I went off to the spare room. Before she closed the door she told me that I wanted her living under the same roof as me and now I have it. I told her this isn't what I wanted and that's why I didn't let her come home two weeks ago when she was going to for this same reason.

This morning before she left I asked her if she was going to keep ignoring me and she said she hadn't decided yet. She she was sacrificing part of herself in order to spend time with her children. Keep in mind she has never been shunned from the house, the invitation has been open daily.

I really don't know what to do about this new situation. It's very uncomfortable and counterproductive. We got along well and had very productive conversations. Now we don't speak, so how are we ever going to fix anything?

She's going to start forcing my hand, and I don't know what to do. She is obviously very confused, lost and detached from reality. it's amazing how she can take her own actions or inactions and put blame on others. She obviously feels guilt for something or else she wouldn't be here..

I'm glad she's here for the children, but they know something is wrong. At least before there was peace and no tension when she was around. Now all she's doing is creating tension. MC is going to be pretty interesting this week.