My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[awest1217]

I agree with Time in the fact that you can't fix him. You can't help him until he wants help. You can have an intervention and do everything you want, but he still won't get help until he is ready to get help. It is hard on him, but he is choosing to not get help.

At the beginning of my separation, some of our mutual guy friends tried to reach out to H. They e-mailed him and asked him if he wanted to talk. H always said "after this" or "after that", and he never did it. Finally, he pushed away our mutual friends as well so the only friend he has is OW. This is all him. He has chosen this life where he has no one to talk to, but OW. He has chosen to live this dual life, and now that I am saying enough is enough, he is alone. Do I feel sorry for him? Yes, but he has made his choices and can choose to fix them, but that is up to him.

You need to remember that YOU can't fix H. Your friends can try to talk to H, but he will probably not talk to them and ultimately push them away as well. He is living a dual life and as long as you let him, he is going to keep running all over you. He knows that you feel for him. He knows that you want to help him. It is now up to him to choose to seek that help. You talking to him or bugging him is not going to help anything. You need to let him be, and get help for you. YOu need to see the worth in you and if he is still talking to OW and was ready to quickly get a D to be with her then you deserve better and if you feel he is the one for you then you need to wait until he is ready to treat you properly. Demand respect by treating yourself with respect. If he talks to you in a rude way, express your hurt feelings in a nice way and then let him know that if he can't talk to you nicely then he needs to cool off before you talk again.

Have a good week.