If she files for full custody according to my attorney, it will make her look bad because judges do not want to separate the kids from their especially when one parent has been the primary parent for most of the marriage. The will see this as bad. Also California is a no fault state, so it is 50-50 for both parents for a certain length of time.
This power move will look bad because it shows she is uncooperative too. It is not to her benefit to start changing things and take money away from her family my attorney's have told me. I will be looked as kind a reverse role of traditional parents.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
It is not something that I want to fill my time, but it is something that need to fill it. Saving my M is main priority, but apparently it does not seem to be hers. I have to make sure that I have full and healthy relationship with my kids.
I am ignoring the angry moments, but I have to realistic and not let my desire to save the marriage cost me the kids.
I appreciate you giving me some perspective and keeping me focused still on the M as one of my main priorities.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
This has been such a hard guestion for me to answer. I don't know why. I have always liked superman because he pretty much has all the powers, and he loves humanity. I think I relate to him because his biggest weakness is not really kypronite, but his love for Lois Lane and humanity. It makes his life a lot harder than if he did not love so much. I feel that my love for my W and my family is my biggest vulnerability, not that I am Superman. I am strong about most anything except when it comes to putting my family before everything else. I guess I am weak in that way.
I have watched parts of "Gone with the Wind," and your right he is a mans man. I wish I was more like him, but I know I will never be. You are right that is not every man's personality.
I like who I am about how I care about others, but my putting her and my family first did not really put them first because I would have a job at this moment instead of worrying about her job being the priority, and maybe my marriage would be better. I know that, and I have to live with that everyday. That is hard for me to admit. I cannot change the past but I can do better now and in the future.
I hope this answers your question the best I could.
Last edited by LSG; 05/02/1006:32 AM.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Today, my wife and I argued a bit. After she put the money in her other account, I took the remaining $700 out with part of that for rent. I told I will not put the remaining part for rent back until she put a certain amount for the rent from her pay. I also took what was left and spent it on groceries. It did not make her happy, but it is another pay day with her not leaving me with anything. I have some money from my job coming next pay day, so I will not be at her mercy as much for a little while.
I took and put some Vegas tickets in a safe place and some other items too. She does not know about them yet, but she will not be happy when she finds out. I had not made these decisions until she pushed me into this situation. I guess I had to make some boundaries for her the hard way. She told my daughter a real man has a job and money. She is probably right, but a real man that she sees in the OM does not cheat on his family. A W does not cheat on her H and family either. Some may disagree with me, but I have been a real man in other ways that the OM could only hope to be. Even the OMW says he is definitely not a real man, no matter what job he has or how much money he makes. He does not give his W but some of the money and she pays most of the bills except for a low mortgage and keeps the rest. He also spends very little time with his kids. If this is a real man, I am happy I am not a real man.
W does not even know what I have planned next. I do not intend to let her know either, so I will not put it here until after the fact in case she does track the computer in some way.
The other woman wants the e-mails I found when W left her e-mail open in Japan which my wife knows I have, but I do not want legal problems by forwarding them the OMW. I have to check with my attorney first next Monday. She wants them to confront her H with. I want her to confront the H, but I do not want to do this with causing myself problems. I have to be careful too. She is ready to confront him, but the OMW needs something, so the OM cannot deny it. I did forward her the cell phone records which are under my name for both phones. It is my contract, so I did not think it would be a problem to forward her those. This is getting nasty. I do have many tricks in my bag that are left for the right time.
The OM will not know what hit him. His W will now fight for every last penny that she can get; whereas, before she just would have given him what he wants to end the marriage if he filed for divorce. He will not be a happy person, nor will my W. Too bad for them!!!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I guess if you have advice for her to break him out in the courts, you may as well pass it.
Also do not listen to your wifes "a real man has a job", because right now you don't have a job and a REAL WIFE or a REAL WOMAN would have picked up the slack and would not have looked at her own man any differentl due to the change in his situations.
A real wife can have her husband become outcast and still love him the same.
Anyway sounds good. Sounds like you got everything covered. She shouldn't have left you while you where down.
By the way a real wife would become even more empowered by a situations where her husband is at a disadvantage.
Last night wife and I were arguing about the tickets to Vegas. She was angry because I put them away somewhere. I told her that without the tickets no one is going. She said, "shouldn't we let the kids decide. I told her it is not up to a 4 and 8 year old to decide to go or not. It is up to their parents to make those decisions, and they would not go.
She said a bunch of things I do not remember. I told her that a real man does not cheat on his W like the OM is doing, and that she is doing the same thing. She told me there cannot be an affair since it is already over. I told here we are still H and W. She told me it does not matter. That is the craziest BS I think that I have ever heard even on this forum, and I have read them all. I had to laugh at what she said which just made her more angry. I find it so funny.
Tonight she found out that I took the passports for me and the kids. She said, "you are insecure." I told her look what she has done with the A and more recently only putting a portion of her pay in the joint account. I said, "I was not insecure, but that I was protecting the family." She did not say another word about it.
We did a puzzle with the kids today and got a long fairly well, until her trip to Costco that lasted for 5 hours. She said she went to Target too. I am sure the OM was there with her. What a real man. Hahaha!!!
I did get her to put the remaining money in our joint account. I will be taking the car for work too. She was very unhappy today. Oh, well. At least she did the dishes for the first time in a long time. Lucky me!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Last night wife and I were arguing about the tickets to Vegas. She was angry because I put them away somewhere. I told her that without the tickets no one is going. She said, "shouldn't we let the kids decide. I told her it is not up to a 4 and 8 year old to decide to go or not. It is up to their parents to make those decisions, and they would not go.
She said a bunch of things I do not remember. I told her that a real man does not cheat on his W like the OM is doing, and that she is doing the same thing. She told me there cannot be an affair since it is already over. I told here we are still H and W. She told me it does not matter. That is the craziest BS I think that I have ever heard even on this forum, and I have read them all. I had to laugh at what she said which just made her more angry. I find it so funny.
Tonight she found out that I took the passports for me and the kids. She said, "you are insecure." I told her look what she has done with the A and more recently only putting a portion of her pay in the joint account. I said, "I was not insecure, but that I was protecting the family." She did not say another word about it.
We did a puzzle with the kids today and got a long fairly well, until her trip to Costco that lasted for 5 hours. She said she went to Target too. I am sure the OM was there with her. What a real man. Hahaha!!!
I did get her to put the remaining money in our joint account. I will be taking the car for work too. She was very unhappy today. Oh, well. At least she did the dishes for the first time in a long time. Lucky me!
Being cheated on will make most people insecure. Don't sweat it. Protect your family and take care of yourself.
