Am so confused... the real me is kind and caring and it is EASIER for me to be this way than cold and distant. It is harder to treat my WH the way I should treat him than to just be nice.

I hate that.

I don't know how to be...I hate the fact that the way I acted today will not last. I mean if he just drops of S and doesn't try to talk to me, I will be able to just smile and say "good night! See you tomorrow." But if he wants to talk to me, ARGHH! I can only be angry for so long. So bizarre- with boyfriends, you break up and then I don't reach out and then if I ran into them I was polite but never interested in resuming anything.

Damn it. I guess with a husband it is just complicated--or I should say a soon to be ex husband who is the father of my child.And I still love him.

Last edited by newmama; 05/03/10 04:54 AM.
me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004