I'm a man. I know you two are in a fight, and I know you where betrayed. I understand all the power moves, being served papers, etc.

Show him you are available. I read this thing on the "Vision board". Talk to him about your shared vision. Especially if when you two shared a vision, and did it successfully. I know you where probably doing fine before he got selfish and did his affair.

Also the affair changes after the spouse is out of the picture, the balance changes and the affair partner usually wants more. After getting more, they want more and more. The spouse might not understand what they are in for. That relationship changes and is more demanding on them after they divorce.

I'm sure you two had a good balance before he got selfish. If you let him talk to me, I could talk to him about the error. I've been through it and lost everything. The relationship went bad.

I guess have a life and activities, but when you are in proximity to him allow him to draw closer thru your attitude. My wife knows how to do it, but for these last years she's mostly sheilded up around me and its uncomfortable to be close. Occasionally she forgets and its like a magnet. With the shield its like a painful spike in me. She is the one who cheated me too and I get crapped on for that.

Also if you speak to him, sometimes use that voice that lets him come in.

You are "home" not the other woman. Also what about the kids?

The act he is doing is based off of selfishness, and it cannot last. When you break a house up there is going to be pain in it for him, that he doesn't realize. It won't hit him till later. It hurts like hell, and it NEVER goes away.

The only way it won't hit him is if he is one of those men who cares about no one but himself. I don't think thats what it is. I think he's stuck in the situation and feels its easier to go on.

Maybe you can get a peer who done this mistake to talk with him. Its real, breaking a house up with kids produces a lot of pain. Its not good for the kids either. They take on the pain too.

He thinks its going to be easier to go the way he is going. Its going to be much harder. Even if people cover for him, that lie is usually not good for people.

If the guy thinks he is doing better out there. You might remind him that "he can get that at home".

Don't worry about it, but think about it. Pray about it. Make yourself that mother and wife that know she deserves a completely loyal man. He will come to you. It should be your husband, but it may be someone else.

Love him even in his error.