At my worst and most negative point, I started as "Alive and Kicking"...I'm not saying I'm better than you, I am saying that it helps to stop seeing yourself as a pathetic victim and even if you feel like you are, at least start to envision and present yourself as in a better place than that. One foot in front of the other.
maybe this is why i can't seem to find my way out of the toilet bowl. it's like i can't see myself in a better place.
i stopped going to IC for about 4 weeks. last week, i restarted. my anger took over and i could hear myself complain about the same things over and over again. i just want it to stop.
Look, I was nearly suicidal. I saw no path that was acceptable. I complained, I cried, I had panic attacks. And I also knew somewhere that people go through all of it and survive and eventually feel better. So, I didn't know how it would happen and I couldn't see a vision of a life I could accept but I knew it was out there somewhere. It is still a struggle not to fall back in the toilet, I do occasionally but I just don't believe that I am destined to be miserable forever. Nope. Most days are more good then bad. It is a choice I make over and over. Life is short, I am going to make the best of it.
