I think you are asking me about how I came to the realization my W was in an A? For me it was very easy and as I learned more about affairs it became even easier. Here are some hints that let me know through her words that she was involved with someone else.
Comes home telling me about guy basically hitting on her, complimenting her... Guy is not attractive so I don't think much of it.... come to find out physical attraction is not important with affairs... it is mostly about the emotional connection
The last year she has been very involved with work, lots of things going on their, our emotional connection has become almost non-existant.. we are basically roomates taking care of kids and everyday life. the things we usually enjoy just aren't very enjoyable anymore... our marriage is basically dead.
Early oct. i get the ILYBINILWY = i care about you, but i'm not excited about you.. and often means i'm excited about someone else.
Doesn't know what she wants needs space, wants me to move out... i can date, she doesn't want to ... she doesn't think she will ever get married again... Needs space = needs space to find out if OM is what she really wants
My friend sees her at Target store with the man i am suspicious of. She admits he is getting a divorce as well and they talk about what they are going through... admits she has feelings for him... is having at least EA with him... and could see dating him in a couple of years....
Couple months later find LOVE note to him in garbage... how he is everything she needs, that she is sooo excited to give the best of her to him forever.... nice.
I am not a jealous person at all. When a jealous person becomes jealous, which I was from the very start, their is usually a very good reason. It has been 4 weeks since I have exposed the love note to her and her family. She is back in reality and we get along very well. She has told OM she needs space and we are thinking of going to retrovialle in a couple of weeks to see what the future holds. Without exposing, I guarantee D would have been filed by now.
At the time I found the love note I was done trying. However, I did dig through the trash to find the note because I was absolutely fed up with the lies. Who knows what the future holds, but my feelings for her are coming back, we have very positive interactions now, hang out alot and I do see a chance where we could make it work... Hell if we can make it back through this, what can't we make it through right?
