My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[TimeHeals]

You can't make someone talk to you is what I told our friend..and you can't make him get help. My h has to want to do this on his own.

Yep, he's the only one that can do this.

I am still conflicted on this feeling though. Because my h is so lost and confused, I'm afraid he is alone and thinks no one cares for him. But, I still think he is trying to talk with the ow. I'm just conflicted. Acting as if I am giving up on someone who is depressed can't make someone feel very good. Does that make sense?

I means you haven't fully detached. I am in the same boat but getting closer and closer to full detachment.

Wanting to fix somebody (or help them fix themselves, etc) is just codependent behavior: you are letting them manipulate how you feel, and trying to help them see what you see is you wanting to manipulate and control them.

You have to let it go. What will be will be.

A while ago, my W (who hasn't even bothered to shower all day long) came into the living room where I was watching TV, and she logged onto her laptop and went to youtube and started playing a music video very loudly. I couldn't even hear the TV. I told her she was being very disrespectful, and I deserved respect just like every other human being, and the "rebellios teenager act" is getting old.

I stopped myself there, and I left to run to the store for a few items so I could cool down, but not before saying, "I haven't got time for this. I am moving on with or without you" (not angry, but firm). But I actually had to leave my own house because I let her push my buttons, and I needed to get away and restore perspective.

So... practicing what I preach isn't always easy. I know.