Oh, it is bad to instill hope? Sorry guys. I missed that discussion. I still have a tinge of hope in all our sitches; not that everything will be hunky-dory, but that the WAHs can have a personal revolution and take steps in the direction of piecing. Hope that's okay. . .
My WH specifically said that if I wasn't pregnant, this wouldn't be happening. Later he said he hasn't wanted to be with me for years, blah blah blah. Changed his story. But pregnancy definitely is a trigger, like P said!
I'm sorry for how hard this is. Are you thinking of signing and sending the papers, BD, just because you're hoping a bit your H will say 'nevermind'? Sorry to bring it up, but you really don't want a D.
I don't know what's best, to sign or not. I really don't. Do what you think is best when you are at your calmest and what gives you the most peace.
And, BD, you will be a very good mom. You have so much love to give, that little boy will just soak it up! I don't know if it helps you, but I have definitely thought of my little one and me as partners. In fact, that Dave Matthews song "You and Me" (don't listen to it if you're not ready; could have strong overtones for the lost M) makes me think of me and her. We can do anything!
As for the birthing class, I strongly recommend going and bringing a friend. I don't think you should go alone. Everyone else has a partner, and they do a lot of "partner" stuff. I was the only one in my class with a female partner, and the facilitator kept saying "husband" "father" and my friend and I would just laugh. By the last class, the facilitator finally used gender neutral terms!
Yesterday I took a childcare class. I brought two friends, and we had a doll and practiced changing and bathing and swaddling and stuff like that. It helps so much to have others with you to take your mind off of H. I really wished WH would take this class, but then I consoled myself that I could teach him what he needs to know if he wants.
Keep writing, hope to hear from ya later tonight. . .
