I'm glad you spent time with WAH in discussion; I'm glad you feel some relief in the contact.
Random thoughts:
+ It is still not healthy to "go along" in a relationship unhappily for a long time without bringing anything up. + Whatever made him decide to do that will pop up again in his future/current relationships if he doesn't acknowledge and process this issue. + Every story can be slanted. If you thought hard enough, you probably will be able to find evidence of his love for you from the past years. (Not trying to speak for you because you know your sitch better than we do, but in general I think you could create a slant for the other side!) + His unhappiness in your relationship mirrors his unhappiness in himself. Going to another person (OW) WILL NOT fix that. + Irrational ideas can be phrased in very rational, logical ways. In fact, it could be evidence of him convincing himself. + One theory for why he doesn't want to be in the birthing room: guilt. He would have to assume a role (or at least be confronted with a role) that he has denied you and the baby so far. + Glad you talked about $$ with him. Will the child support payments break him financially? + The OW is definitely not the problem; she's the symptom. And I do think that all the WAS are "unhappy" with the LBSes, but I think that it is misplaced. And I believe that each WAS believes firmly that the problem is the LBS, so it's not surprising to hear him say that about you.
I don't know if you want to hear it or not, but I still have hope for this sitch.
The birth is almost here, P! You are going to do a great job with your little one. I really like what NM said about being an example for S. It's a great opportunity we have.
