The reason for my comment was and is that you dont sound like DBing anymore. And the way you describe the situation it is different than the point when we all find this site. You ask yourself, if what you are getting is enough and whether you are settling. So, I assumed -sorry- that you think this is it. This is what I was offered, this is the best my DBing got me, what do I do?
Last year I was like you, asking whether he was incapable of changing and I should shut the f@ck up and take it for my kids, my finances etc etc. Turned out, what I was getting was what was left from my H that was still in R with the OW he never had agreed existed. So there was a reason for the little he was putting in our M. Not an excuse, a real reason : an OW. Now we are in piecing. And the man that I am dealing with, is different. I mean really different. He got his chance with me. And -wait you wont believe this- he is trying. He is loving and caring and IN 100%. THAT gives me strength to go on trying to get over the lies and his A and that gives me hope. We are far from having a good M. There are days we do. Some, not so much. The difference is, that in the not so good days, he is the one that is patient and doenst give up. THAT is big. He says he wants our M. He says he wants to make it better than before. He is doing things to prove it. Now, if he was again telling me, he is confused and didnt know if he could change...well, then I wouldnt be here. Of course I've been around 3 years and that probably means I have served my time in Dbing.
What I am trying to say is, that I think you are where I was last year. I dont know if it is another woman or his job or something else with your H, but in order for you to have a chance for something better, something has got to give. In my case, I found out the truth, in your case? I dont know.
Accepting what you are accepting now, sounds sick, stressful, unfair to me. And I say that AFTER being there (to the point that things were similar). Which means I am not judging you, so dont get offended. I am only pointing out, the way you sound and the way you describe things, there must be a turning point soon. If you continue like this, it will become status, much harder to break. And I am talking mentality, philosophy. K
PS The nice days with the kids, family trips etc all took place last year. All along, I felt I was settling, sacrificing me for them, thankfully, not anymore...
