Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[Geomom]

BD, you can see the full details on my sitch here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1990503#Post1990503

I'm almost 100 percent certain there's an OW involved (H recently posted a new profile photo on Facebook -- from which he's since defriended me -- and he's wearing a huge, happy grin like I haven't seen in a long time. Unfortunately for him, he was also wearing mirrored sunglasses, so I can see a female figure in the passenger seat (not her face, though) holding up a camera to snap the shot, and I can also see his arm extended toward her to touch her neck).

In one way, it was a relief to find there was an OW (made me realize, maybe I'm not the awful person he's making me out to be -- he just needs excuses). But it's also terribly frustrating because I don't know for sure yet who she is (though I have another clue from the business name on the building they're parked in front of -- think she probably works there, so guess who'll be doing some recon this week? How'd I land this private detective gig?)

And, like you, I feel like I've given SO much for him: stood by him and pulled in income when he wasn't (not to mention that I brought some -- a little -- family money into this relationship, which helped pay for our first house), NEVER EVER belittled him or questioned his career decisions, NEVER discouraged him from investing in business training or books or DVDs even when we were struggling to pay bills, changed the way I cooked to accommodate his various diet fads, etc., etc., etc.

As far as where we're at right now: he became furious with me this week when he discovered I had gone into his Webmail to see if I could learn anything. Told me that was worse than him sleeping with every woman in town. (Of course, he's never actually said, "No, I'm not seeing anyone else." Still a modicum of honesty left, maybe?) After steaming for a while, he said he needed some space to cool off so packed up a bag and has been staying at his Mom's (about a mile away from our house) since Friday. I love his Mom dearly and he said today (when he picked up our son to take him out for a bit) that he hasn't told her anything, just said we had a fight, but I'm not so sure anymore. It's come out that he's already said some pretty negative things about me to family and co-workers in the past and if he is seeing an OW, he's clearly not being honest. Heaven knows what he's really telling people.

Meanwhile, I've stayed absolutely silent about this to everyone except the people here on this board (thank goodness again for this forum -- think I might have gone insane by now if it weren't for this). I spent nearly an hour on the phone with my Mom today and it killed me that I couldn't say anything to her, especially when she started talking about some former friends of my sister who had gotten divorced. I don't plan on burdening her, though: she's got other problems in the family to worry about (troubled sister) and just lost her job this past week. So I sit here stoic and smiling when I'm around people, and sometimes just lose it when I'm alone.

So in answer to your question, is it easier if there's an OW or if he just says he doesn't love you: I can't believe either is easier. Either way, it just plain hurts to your very core.

Ah well, that's my pity party for now. Back to writing a to-do list and making GAL plans for the week. Just have to deal with this one day at a time.