Question

[ClingingToHope]

Based on how little he has actually tried to see S, he might not get every other weekend. I'm no expert, but he's shown so little interest you may be able to dictate supervised visits. This is what a L is for.

As a guy, I think I have thrown out there some divorce statistics that show women do especially poorly in D. I have a feeling in my case, even with the fact STBXW makes more, that this will be the case in my sitch. STBXW shops when she's anxious or depressed. In the time I've been gone she's maxed four credit cards -- which means four hefty minimum payments.

I feel guilty to say that gives me some comfort. For 15 years I've tried to make STBXW's life better and a lot of times that meant being the voice of reason and saying, no, we should wait.

As I'm typing this, the girls are talking about some house supposedly STBXW is trying to buy with no equity and a short sale soon to be on her record. Sigh.

All that being said. That may not be the case with you. You've actually been living all this time with next to no support so a D should actually improve your situation. You seem sharp enough to know the hurdles in front of you.

I think it's more a matter of the WAS vs. the LBS. The WAS usually thinks life is going to be so great -- the grass is greener stuff -- and hasn't put a lot of thought into the struggle it is to be alone.

The LBS has it thrust in their face and they have to adjust more quickly.

I think you'll be fine.