I am going to let someone who has been down the road help you with how you communcate yourself to a better situation with H.
There is a time for you to look in the mirror and ask yourself some tough questions about your part in the M. But IMO you have to get stable first. H blames you for everything because it's easier to do that than look where he needs to be looking...
Inside himself. You just focus on you.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
