W still wants separation, need to DB more

[james217]

Yesterday:

W returned home from work, told me she wanted to lay down for a bit before getting ready for the wedding. W laid down I went to the gym and ran a couple errands. When I got home W was sleeping. W wakes up while I was getting ready and told me "OIN I am going to grab something to eat then get ready ok?" and I say "Of course that is OK, take your time." It was different for her to tell me she was going to do something in the form of a question...usually she just does whatever she wants as she would put it.

We both get ready to leave, compliment W dress. W takes out her camera and take picture of me, then wants me to take a picture of her (?). Dog jumps up on W and she said "OIN can you make she the dog stays away" I say "sure, no problem" at the time dog had walked away, I turn to grab something and dog had comeback and jumped on her again so my W got very upset and lashed out at me, so I said in return nearly loosing my cool "When you asked, she was nowhere near you so I thought she would be ok" my W still upset started to mock me. At first I wanted to lash back but remained calm as I could and instantly changed the subject and returned back to being upbeat.

We made it out the door without further incident. During our drive there, I felt like there was tension between us but I could be mistaken. I could have created that tension because on the inside I was upset that she failed to wear her wedding ring. I should no had let it get to me.

At the wedding I did my best to remain upbeat but it was tough, my W was very withdrawn. We sat we a good friend of mine who is engaged. Most of the conversations at the table were about marriage or wedding planning. As I looked at the bride walk around I made the comment to my W, "it is me or does she not look happy?" so my W says "Maybe she realized what a big mistake she just made." This comment was completely I my W.

Throughout the night I found myself allowing my W comments or expression affecting me to the point where I would say something in return.

I asked my W to dance and she refused. Eventually we ended our night and headed home. We stopped off at a store on the way home to get cold medicine for my W. Before we went to check out she said to me "maybe I should have you cash out for me because I can't talk, my throat hurts too much." I said "that is no problem" she then told me nevermind...I asked "why do u need ur voice to cash out" jokingly and she said "cause they greet you and I don't want to be rude." and so I said "Oh you mean like when I say TY and never get a ur welcome" she said "whatever" realizing I just got her upset, I changed the subject and went back to being upbeat...

I have to re-read some posts, I feel like I am loosing focus and becoming attached to her words and emotions again to the point where I say something out of defense.

she's baiting you and getting the reaction she wants. she's trying to push your buttons and you fall for it everytime. Until that stops this back and forth is going to continue.

Then your "TY/ur welcome" comment really wasn't positive.

Not saying you should be a doormat. But what is this accomplishing man? Is it helping to improve your sitch?

what are your boundaries? what are your goals?