Not sure which way to go anymore

[june72]

Ugg! I have no really great words of advice. I can clearly see that you are really suffering, big time. You're really in pain over this and I am so sorry. Please know the hurt and feelings that you are processing now will slowly, over time dwindle down.

To go through something like this is to suffer. You have so many things that you had hopes for only to have them dashed in an instant. You suffer not only for you but for your son's life without a full time dad.

It's horrible, I feel for you.

You really are traumatized at the moment and I can tell that logic is a distant friend right now. I can see that emotions are overwhelming you.

You are in good company, I am sure that many can empathize with you. Look to them as your guide to make it past this "blackness". let them light the path back to wholeness.

It's totally ok to fall apart as a human being. Wallow in it for a while, accept it. But when you are ready- you will have to pick your self up, put back the pieces of your life together again and learn to live your life with new meaning. To gain a new focus.

Of course- I do not think anyone here today, right now expects you to start the path to recovery. I think they are all rooting for you to speed through the "shock and grief" phase quickly and not prolonged.

I just hope that you do not get "stuck" in the grief phase. It's a horrible place to be and it live it constantly for a prolonged time would be...(I can't find the right word)....wrong. Wrong for you and your son.

It is much harder since you share a son, but detaching definitely will retrain your mind to focus else where.


Ever have a panic attack? You mind races with the same thoughts over and over and you feel like you can't turn it off. Same concept here. You need to find activities to occupy you mind and eventually you mind "forgets" the racing thoughts that plague you. It's almost a like you are tricking your mind.

So join some meetup.com groups, join a support group, go to the movies, or events. Fill your mind up with other extransious (sp?) stuff to take your mind off your hubby. Hell, that your son on a vacation to Disney...

Do any and every activity to get your mind off your hubby. It is the only way that I know of that works.

Like a victim of a violent crime, eventually the thoughts of the events play over and over and over in your mind. And some day- no longer is the severe pain invoked like the first time it actually happened. Make sense? You grow accustomed to the horrible event you can see it and little emotions occurs.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.