If they use their internal locus to want to contact the OP, then we influence their external locus by implementing consequences- if we don't want to be with someone who keeps contacting the OP then we implement boundaries to protect ourselves.
Where is your line? If he crossed the line by contacting OP then do you want him to move out, do you want a separation so you can take time decide what you want to do with your marriage and hope he sees that you are serious? Do you still live with him but implement 180s and NC him as much as you can?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004