Today is your anniversary......wow. That sucks....
We hear your desparation for help, and if you will stick with us....we will stick with you, okay?
First, get through today. I know in your heart you will want to hear from him. You will want him to recognize the anniversary. But, I doubt he will do anything b/c he will not want to give you any hopes for the future. So prepare not to hear from him.
Second, don't contact him. Hard assignment, I know. But he is expecting....and dreading that contact. So surprise him by you not pursuing him about the anniversary.
Third, do something very nice for yourself today. Be with friends and go somewhere to have fun. Don't hang out at his old haunts.....go where you won't run into him. Tell your friends that you don't want to discuss him or any of that stuff today. Try to relax and tomorrow we will get into the meat of this DBing.
Please don't sit at home feeling sorry for yourself today.
I think your H has some problems that would be hard to resolve....but not impossible. The hardest part for him would be to have the "want to" and he isn't showing any of that.
I must have misunderstood about the baby situation, but compared to the other things about him.....it is hard to see him wanting to "settle down" and fit into that picture of being a daddy and raising a child. But we will get back to that later.
I believe you are going to have to apply "tough love" with him, and we'll talk about that also.
Let me give you the link to the thread about boundaries vs ultimatums. If you have time, read the first couple of pages on that and it will clearify some terms. It is an important read.
