I just read your thread and it seems you are willing to ride along on your STBXW's roller coaster. You do seem like a fish being played at the end of her line. At times you seem like you are ready to jump off the hook, but your feelings and actions are still largely based upon her indecisive swaying.
Get the papers signed.
Establish some firm boundaries and limited contact with her. This is going to be tough on her, but you have to break the hook off the line.
Remain amicable with her for the kids sake, but dont be friends for now. Hugging (and sex) is going to cause major confusion for both of you.
Live your life the way you want it.
Meet lots of different women but dont go jumping into a serious relationship right away. Sample the buffet.
If there is a possibility of reconciliation, it would come much further down the road (several years) after she has owned up to her faults and fixes them. But most likely, one of you will have moved on by then and found someone else.
BTW...You do express yourself very well in your thread. And I believe you know what you must do.
