8 weeks until D Day!!

[goldfiber]

That was me you found on fb. Avatar is no problems for your kids especially if they saw transformers. Just ignore him and OW.

As for your message on fb, I read it. Pretty harmless, we have a saying in the south, "a hit dog will holler". Meaning even though you didn't call any names, only the guilty would know you were talking about them. I think you should stay detached as long as possible.

As for his hate mail, maybe his folks said something to him, maybe ow said something about you contacting her H and he felt compelled to defend you. Bottom line, who knows. Don't worry bout it.

[lea74]

Excellent - I am so glad that it was you I found on facebook!!

I really like your expression - it is so true. How would they know it was them I was talking about when I didnt mention names.

My H normally phones my son each night between 7.00 and 7.30. Unfortunately my cell phone was still on silent (I keep it this way at work)and we have a new home phone and the batteries were flat, so he couldnt get through. I had 20 missed calls from him. I texted him to explain the situation and apolgised. He then tried to call back another 9 times. I couldnt take his calls as I was helping my neighbour who has a poorly child.

He sent some rather nasty texts saying I did it on purpose etc. He needs to except the fact that he is no longer part of our lives on a daily basis - this is a consequence of his decision.

(((( )))))

[lea74]

So I took your advise. I composed an email to my MIL that said I was really hurt that they had decided to stay at her house and that if I had know that they were still coming that I would have offered them a place here. However, that I was willing to put the incident behind us and see them for coffee.

I think it is important that I stay connected to my childrens grand parents and secondly I am still in their lives it will seriously P**s her off!!

[goldfiber]

Ok, alittle focus on OW for a moment. I think she is very envious of you. I believe she wants to take your place in everyone's eyes. The problem is she can't accomplish this unless she has your participation by giving her your spot. DON'T!!!!!!! Maintain all relationships that you can, I would even try to make them better. If you can do that, OW will panic and turn up the heat on your H, which we know he doesn't like. Don't allow grief to paralyze you. Fight for your marriage. If you were not married to H and you wanted him, how would you get his attention without pursuing? You know him better than she dies, use that to your advantage.

Secondly, has there been anything in your life that you wanted to do but couldn't because you were married? Compile a short list and start doing those things. This will help get your focus off him and on you.

[lea74]

Thanks G, as always excellent advise. I didnt even think about that - it just shows that she has a gameplan. I am generally niave about people and believe the best of them.

As for doing things for myself - I am doing quite a bit with my sons I would never have done before. I guess I now need to focus on me.

(( ))

[lea74]

So just need to rant!!!

Just found out that my H went to denmark for the weekend and I am sure that she went with him. My broter in law and family live theres, so guess she is now moving on that family as well. Is there no end to this woman's deceitfulness. The fact that they have now accepted her as well is just so sad. I have know them for 21 years and have just been pushes aside like dirt!!

Also, H says he cant pay maintenance but can go away for the weekend - again. Just found out recently he was in Berlin for the weekend as well!!

On top of that my MIL emailed to say that she would love to have coffee. Sorry that it hurt, but as she is now part of his life they felt they had to accept. WTF. Also, just to dick the knife in a littl more my MIL said that the OW had made them feel very comfortable - well of course she did. What was she going to do - be horrile. That would ruin her plan!!!

I just wish I could push a button and make it all go away. Can I fast forward to next year, when I am happy and have a new man who cares for me and children and is not a big fat liar!!!

[lea74]

So a little confused. H has soundly gone very quiet. No taunting emails or texts. No quesitions via emails or any other form. Not sure why??

He will be able to apply for the final part of our D in the next 2-3 weeks and then it will be all over. I thought he would be elated. He could also be having so much fun with his OW.

[lea74]

So H took our sons out to dinner tonite. Again the topic of how S7 eats comes. My sons and I eat left handed, and in fact H did as well up until this point - but denies. (Not sure who I have been sitting next to for the last 21 years).

Anyway he again insisted that my son switch his hands. Its not a big deal it just really annoys me that he tries to change them to his ways when in his company. He left, he doesnt live here anymore, he cant do that. It is just bad parenting. He cant expect my kids to change each time they go with him. He gave up the right to tell them what to do on a daily basis. Anyway he never includes me in any of his decisions about them.

AHHHH!!!

[lea74]

Hi G, how you doing?? Everything ok?? You been so quiet.

(())

[goldfiber]

Hi Lea, so much has been going on that M has actually taken back seat right now. I'll catch u up.