"Dunno are u gonna be normal and not stepford wifey?"
Wow. We are so much alike, reading along... Stepford Wife! I've said that many a time, during this DB process... It doesn't become me, btw...
Originally Posted By: Number 8
I have a great fondness for sushi, but not too many of my friends do.
I'm IN! If you need a friend! YUM! Can't wait to hear how dinner went...
Originally Posted By: Number 8
My thought is this: If you love someone, if you're sad about your marriage troubles, if you miss this person, and if you want to see them more than you currently see them, then you don't get a divorce. I know I've greatly simplified this, but does this not make sense???
Thoughts, anyone? So strange.
Sounds like there is something that he is NOT telling you!!! Can't wait to see what follows...
Originally Posted By: Number 8
Thursday night is my favorite TV night, so I may get some takeout sushi and watch my shows that night. I'll have my sushi yet!!
Please tell me it's "REAL HOUSEWIVES"!!! LOL
Originally Posted By: Number 8
Now I'm sitting outside in an Adirondack chair in the sun, wine at my right hand, book and a variety of catalogs at my left. Boxer dog is thrilled that the weather is finally pleasant, and he's even more thrilled to fetch the tennis ball.
I have a setting like that... I should use it more often. You are inspiring!
Originally Posted By: Number 8
Like you, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, but I'm not completely convinced that H doesn't want to be with me. He has just said he's afraid he could never be happy here again and that things would never change. That leaves me some room to work.
DINGDINGDING - famous words of many...
Originally Posted By: Number 8
Is BLAME the WAS's specialty?
YES, YesYesYesYes, Yeeeeeeeeeessssss!
Originally Posted By: Number 8
*A divorce is the best solution, in his eyes
Oh, I hope this improves as I read on... I'm sorry, honey. HUG
Originally Posted By: Number 8
I tried on many things, and I ended up with 8 new tops.
I like your style!!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Do we just leave them to wallow in their depression???
I'm convinced there is nothing you can do to, ultimately, change it. In my case, my H showed classic depression in the early stages of our sitch, and (after I did everything WRONG for a year) once I started DB'ing, this man had NOTHING but positive, uplifting, comforting, securing interactions w/me, his kids, etc... He may have become easier to deal with (who can be pissy to someone kissing your arse?), but it didn't affect his depression.
Oh, God, Easter Dinner story was a riot!!! LOL How are your thumbs? I KNOW you're still hiding something from us!
Originally Posted By: Number 8
Just the kind an only child would want. How I love my solitude. On a side note, I hope that one day H understands how an only child loves his/her solitude.
Guess who understands this!?!?! I'm an only child, too!! LOL ON my FB page, you'll see many references to a PEACEFUL evening... Quiet, peaceful existence...
40 SICK DAYS BUILT UP!?!?! OY!!
Originally Posted By: Number 8
*Consider putting laundered sheets on bed (though Boxer dog and I have slept just fine on the mattress pad for two nights).
*cleaned turtle aquarium; allowed turtle to play in the sun while I cleaned his home (he's faster than I remembered)
We have a box turtle, Nate. He has pink highlights. Enough said.
BTW, I thought I had a FAB job! 8 more weeks off!?!?!?
Originally Posted By: Number 8
Don't forget that I'm a worrier by nature, so the list could get extensive. Here are a just a few concerns:
*he'll want to come by, grab something, and rush off (I hate the quick escape) *he'll want to tell me how he's still happier staying at his mother's *he'll want to talk to me about filing for divorce *he'll want to remove more things from the house (or set a date to remove more things from the house) *he'll treat me like he's run into a familiar person on the street *he'll tell me again that he tried sooooo hard, but it's just too late
Should I go on with a few of my other concerns?
That is quite enough! I hear ya!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
mindfull, I'm so pleased to have your input here. I have a few responses to some of your responses:
*I can't imagine renovating and restoring a 1911 home. I've had enough trouble with my 1988 home (also known affectionately as the money pit).
*Glad your pastor came to pray over your abode, but sorry it didn't have much effect. Was this a Lutheran pastor? Everyone knows you go Catholic in these circumstances. Who better to perform an exorcism??
*Chelsea Handler. The Moses of her people. She is certainly worthy of quoting. Have you read My Horizontal Life? Hilarious.
*The mindfull input? Priceless. "MINDFULL INPUT - If you'd communicate to me how bad you're feeling, acting, living, etc... you wouldn't HAVE TO LEAVE to get my attention, f*ck face."
*So you enjoyed the bird fiasco, huh? What if I told you that something very similar had happened just a few months earlier? There were a few differences in that instance, though. The previous instance involved H's big idea to use a pair of pantyhose, the vacuum cleaner, a plastic grocery bag, and an umbrella. Truly a disaster.
*While the Real Housewives are entertaining, I so enjoy NBC on Thursday nights. Funny fiction is the way to go. I get enough reality living my own troubled existence.
*If you have a similar Adirondack/yard set-up, I highly encourage you to use it. It's almost necessary to have a glass of wine in the outdoors every now and then.
*Ah, yes. The Easter dinner story. I kept wondering if I was getting punked or something. As for my thumbs, I have made a full recovery. I cannot believe it caused such consternation and disbelief. Who would lie about that?? I still don't get it!
*A fellow only child AND turtle guardian? We're two peas in a pod, you and I.
H texted a little while ago that he needs to come get his shop vac because a friend wants to borrow it. I asked when he would come, and he responded that he'd let me know when he was on his way but that it wouldn't be too early.
As I was writing a text that asked him to ballpark a time, he sent another one that said he could "just get in the garage and get it, don't need to come in so don't worry about the house, supposed to rain some tomorrow so I'm not gonna move anything tomorrow" After he received my text about a time, he said his ballpark time would be between 8:30 and 10.
I then texted to let him know that it was NOT going to rain tomorrow. I said that I'd be happy to clear out for a few hours so that he could get in the house and do what he needed to do.
His response was this: "Nah I'm good I have laundry and stuff to do, might go see [lifelong friend]"
I texted that it was no trouble at all and that if he changed his mind, then he could just let me know. He answered back, "Ok"
In keeping with my new pledge, I will NOT try to guess what he's thinking or feeling. I WILL admit that I don't understand.
It's funny you should say that. When I was talking to one of my two best friends this evening, she kept insisting that I give him a deadline of when he should get it all out. I told her that I wasn't sure that was the best thing to do--but what do I know? I think that I should just leave it alone.
When I was talking to one of my two best friends this evening, she kept insisting that I give him a deadline of when he should get it all out.
Have you watched, "Breaking Up". I was at a hotel this weekend and it was a free rental...sad movie. Not sad because breakups are hard. Sad because all throughout the movie, it was clear that by listening to others instead of each other, they just made things appear worse (when in fact they were improving).
Below is some rambling, I hope it makes some sense...but I'm kind of tired~
On these boards, I don't know how many times I clenched my teeth to read someone telling another that their W or H was almost certainly having an affair and to go catch them. Even if they were, that only gives a scapegoat to attack instead of dealing with the problems that led the couple to the breakdown in their R. Having eyes open is one thing, going to act is another.
Act as if he was your H. Do you really want him gone? Setting a deadline, filing, changing locks, and other ultimatums are for deal-breaker issues you have. Is it an issue that his stuff is there for YOU?
My W has this problem. She thinks that by encouraging herself or other women to stand up against a man she is preventing oppression. Even when she is oppressive to the men that way. To be fair to both, both people need to be considered equally valuable - even when someone is wrong. Good intentions aren't always enough when words that cut are given in spite, revenge, or defense. You know how that feels - your H is doing that. Don't be caught by that evil.
