Naej, I can understand why you wouldn't trust that I'm going to change in the ways needed. I need to grow in love. I think that's the lesson to learn from this.
I think I get it. I think I'm ready. Learning to love my W, even with the betrayal, distance, problems, estrangement, and history will be a significant stretch for me. It's easier to avoid, distance, be civil, procrastinate, blame, be passive, and judge.
She and I went out to lunch with a couple after dance class today. Being out in the world as a partner with my W (even though we have problems) would be doing something different, rather than waiting for things to be in a better place. Maybe if I act like a H (another DB technique), in spite of my feelings, she may start to act more like a W. There are no other options at this time.
It's odd. We actually have a had a great week together. She is so happy when we're out in the world being social with interesting people.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
