i posted a really long post today with my story but i'm not getting any responses. my question is after 5 weeks of seperation, and having said i would wait for two months, everyone tells me that i should just say that if he wants to really make it work he should move back in, before he finds someone else or gets too used to being without me. what should i do?
How long would you be willing to be patient to work out things? Five weeks feels like an eternity (because I've been there), but in relative terms it's a pretty short amount of time to be separated. I've been separated for 4 months, and there are people on the board who have gone much longer than I have.
I can't say that this would or would not work in your situation, but I know that an ultimatum would not have worked in mine. This is would have only driven my H further away with the pressure and demands.
Do you think you can make it longer than 2 months?
i posted a really long post today with my story but i'm not getting any responses. my question is after 5 weeks of seperation, and having said i would wait for two months, . . .
If you give a wayward/walkaway spouse a deadline of two months, they're going to continue to be walkaway/wayward for 59 days, at which point they'll either walk away for good or they'll promise you the moon and the stars and beg you to take them back.
Never communicate a deadline -- it should be YOUR, internal, deadline only. Only tell him "I won't wait forever," or "I hope you'll decide before I lose what's left of my love for you," or some such.
