Allen, My therapist basically said the same thing you said. My life needs to be the stable safe one in order for him to ever jump off his rollercoaster and on to mine.
I have been doing pretty good at detaching, with the exception of Tues. I don't call him hardly ever. If I need to talk to him about kids or money, I mostly do it through email or text. As for not being alone with him, that is a little more difficult. However, the kids will usually alway be around. And with our schedules we really should only see each other every other Sunday when he drops of the kids.
I've been seeing a new therapist the last month and half. Like you suggested previously, I researched and made sure I found one that is family oriented and marraige based. It's amazing how much he tells is the same that you and everyone else has been telling me for months. Detach, don't chase him, he has to want the M as much as I do, let the OW start being the nag, etc. He also said that the only way I should accept his offer this Sunday, is if I think I'm strong enough to not let my mood (stable train) be affecting by his (rollercoaster). He doesn't think I'm strong enough to do that yet. However, he did say that maybe I should wait until Sunday morning to make that decision.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
