Regarding what to do about the wedding anniversary.....let's think about a few things here. Would you be celebrating under the circumstances and after all she's said to you about not loving you and wanting a divorce, etc? Wouldn't it seem weird to buy her a gift, and flowers are way too romantic. It would be pursuing to take her out, and quite frankly, it comes across to her as being a sham. Yes, you love her deeply, but you are not to put that love in the form of celebrating & gift giving when you are standing in the door of divorce court. To me, it just doesn't jive.
When I was about ready to leave my H, and the night the stuff hit the fan, it was like the week of valentines. I can tell you one thing.....we ignored Valentine's Day that year!
I don't think you should bring the subject up, but if she says something about it, then you can make some statement about it.....but be extremly careful b/c it is a snare for R talks and you don't want to go there with her. Be prepared for an answer and be cool. If you don't know what to say, just look at her and then turn around and do something else.
What you going to say? Happy Anniversary? Tough day, but she needs to realize that not celebrating that particular day with you is gone forever if she goes through with the D. May 20th would be a good time to give her a preview. Don't be a jerk to her or anything......just treat it like any other day. Keep focused on that being part of your "plan", instead of being focused on the idea that it may be the last annniversary. If you get pulled into a pity party, you sure won't be attractive then.
Depending on her attitude by then and how things may be going, but I would suggest that you have a back-up plan to leave the house. If you got decked out, looking all cool, smelling great, etc....and then say, "Okay, I'm gone....see ya later sometime", I bet she would be shocked! Would she be mad? Oh yeah, if she has not beat you to the punch and left the house first. Don't you get stucked there! You are GAL without her....and she needs to see that you do. Give her a preview.
Remember, no details to her about where you're going, with whom, or what time you'll be back. Be very vague and mysterous.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
