Good, sounded to me that you were trying to convince yourself there. To me, and I do not know you, but it sounds like you would be using these girls to boost your morale. OK if they agree to that, but if not, then no.
It's still a very fresh pain for you, I can hear it in your posts. Your W hurt you and you're still feeling it. Using two other women as bandaids to remind yourself that you are still worthwhile as a person, well, not OK. You can discover that on your own, you don't need validation from the opposite sex.
To me, the fact that you are on here, willing to make changes, willing to fight for your M... that speaks volumes to how worthwhile you are as a person. How a woman would be lucky to have someone like you.
My H and I are beekeepers. One time we were installing a new package of bees into their new hive, and to do that you spray them with a sugar syrup. It keeps them from flying and they lick themselves clean, thereby keeping them busy and not angry at you. Well, some were not sprayed and they swarmed onto me. H panicked, sprayed my very long hair and then proceeded to RUN from me as the bees all got caught in my hair, stinging my neck, etc. (I don't use protective equipment) He ran into the house... and then fought his fear and came back to help me, but only b/c he felt shame at abandoning me.
Well, that's my H in a nutshell. When the going gets tough, he RUNS in the opposite direction. Not attractive, and it bothers me - that's why he has OW. The going got tough, I wasn't feeling like myself, I was hurt and angry and depressed and he ran - right to another woman.
A woman wants a man who will stick it out, fight for her, and do the hard, introspective work to change those things they need to change and be confident in what they like - even if others don't agree with what they like. Most of all, a woman wants a man who will fight for himself and not give up his values.
