Is your daughter a lot like you in looks and personality? It sounds like he's lashing out at her because of you and the reminders of you. If they aren't careful, she could file a complaint at school about mental and emotional abuse.
They both are a piece of work if you ask me and at the rate they are going, she's going to run far and fast from them as soon as she can.
I'm very sorry that this is happening, but I do think it's all about you and yes, they are looking for a response or reaction from you. I know it hurts and is frustrating, but you have to remain still for now.
Is there a way that I can assist? Do you want to get my email address to her and I'll chat with her about the military bases in my area, especially the navy? It might be one way to ensure that you hear from her. Think about it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My Daughter looks just like me, only she's 35 years younger, hasn't had children and gravity hasn't taken over.... She is built smaller boned and busted, but her attitude and aptitude strongly resembles mine. Her math, science, spacial concepts, problem solving, all mine. She actually believes she will be able to live with Dick and come out sane on the other side. Just the same way I used to think before we moved to Kansas.
It's funny you mention it being all about me... I thought about how crazy it sounded when I wrote the above note, because when the thoughts were joining in my head, I kept telling myself it can't be all about me... but it IS how it feels, as IF Dick has some undone business with me. I do feel as though I'm being toyed with.
She vented in (for her) a long note through Facebook... I should have you read it, for you'll probably see much more than I do. Someone with authority should really read it, but I don't have any faith in the autority figures here.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
I lost your thread, and now I have it back. Yay! BT, maybe your D should go into the navy. She will be able to get a free education, and most importantly free from her dad. He can't do anything to interfere with her there. My son-in-law is in the Air Force, and has a fantastic career. He has signed up a couple of times now, each time getting a nice bonus. It really isn't a bad life (just not the army or marines). Their little family is off to Germany soon --- a long holiday paid for by the USAF. Well, he has to work, but my D intends exploring Europe.
Isn't she turning 18 soon? If so, she will have control over her own life, if she allows herself to do so. Then, won't you also be free of him and his dragging you into court all the time? Gosh, I hope so. I just cannot understand how a judge can only listen to one side of the story? It just boggles my mind. Have you ever thought of moving out of the area? After all, what keeps you there, if your children are growing up and having their own lives. Isn't it time to find your own path now, maybe a new love?
Just saying!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
You make several good points... and as for moving, one there's a court order for me to remain in the school district, and secondly, MONEY! I can't afford to move into another house, never mind another state. However, I'm limping along and waiting for D to turn 18.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
There is something very very wrong in a jurisdiction when someone is forced to live in a school district and the child is living in another far away, and the other parent does not have a similar court order. The law has been so slanted toward your X that it cannot be anything but purposefully corrupt. Have your lawyers not said anything? Do you always have the same judge?
I am utterly amazed.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yes, I always have the same Judge.... and yes, to be court ordered to remain in a school district, is completely wrong. Dick did this to me in the beginning too, when the original papers were served, Dick had an order that stated I couldn't leave the state without his and/or the court's permission. He's always made me out to be someone I am not....
For the good new!
S and his girlfriend now have full time employment which they will start on May 24! Two weeks after they Graduate from High School, they begin to work with me! I went with them yesterday, when they had their interviews, and sat and listened when they got their offers!
S and his girlfriend are both enrolled in College too! Sure, they will start with the local community college, and then continue their education somewhere else.
The kids will have 9 weeks of training before hitting the floor with me, but this is actually better, because they will have their weekends off during most of the summer... After training, their College schedule will take priority, then the company schedules their hours around the college hours. It looks like both kids get out around noon, and will start work around 3:00 till 10:00. This will allow them to support themselves fairly nicely!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
This is great news about your son and his girlfriend! A ray light in the storm cloud...finally!
How are you doing?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm sitting back quietly.... D hasn't had any release, still no phone, still grounded. My gut says he's waiting for me to respond. It's been 4 months, almost 5 since he's had me in court, and I'm thinking he's looking for the vent/release he feels when he wins in court. He's able to release and project his nastiness upon me, and feel clean and guilt free after a hour of court. He has no legal excuse to take me to court, so he is creating a reason for me....
I'm worried about D.... but feel good about S. He is beginning his future, as it should be. Dick expected S to move out to Cali after graduation.... S has told Dick of his plans which S said his Father didn't have much to say.... not a good sign.
I'm afraid it's going to get worse for D, before it gets better. I'm holding my position.....
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
You know, BT, I wonder in your sitch, whether you should even have L representation in court. Why bother coming with an attorney, when he's not going to be able to speak or represent you? Why not just go to court by yourself, and if asked about your lack of lawyer, comment that since you are rarely heard, your children's wishes are ignored, you are forced to live in a school district where your children do not attend, you have to pay CS from a salary almost a pittance compared to your XH's, and he keeps most of the court's time with his lies and ridiculous accusations, you saw no point in wasting the money. In other words, you may as well represent yourself --- you will get as far as any lawyer doing so, it seems.
Just a thought.
I am still gobsmacked that this is going on. Surely, someone in the media has cottoned on to this after all the years this judge has been meting out "justice". Could you request another judge, or is this the only one in town?
It is amazing how calm you still are, after all you've been through. You are an inspiration.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
There are four full time Judges, and a few part time Judges here. I've always had the same Judge, I don't know if it's normal or not.
Now, for some reason, tonight I've been given many of the answers that I've been searching for..... The how's and why's to many of the things that have gone on, and I've just not understood the responses, or why it has been the way it has been.
I've had the answers all along, but I haven't been able to connect the dots, in the way I have now, and it all makes perfect sense.
I kept thinking it was because some how I deserved what was going on, whether it be karma, or something I had done in a previous life or maybe I was the person Dick made me out to be, but I refused to see his view of me..... NAW! None of these things had anything to do with what has happened.... None of it.
Land, Oil, Politics.... what bed fellows they truly make....
Now that I understand, I'm sitting back and waiting for answers to what I do with the knowledge I have.
