JT- Did you ever consider maybe the reason you're where you're at is that someone is looking out for you? That maybe this was done for you and not to you?
I admit I was very worried about you when you first came on board, but in your last few posts I believe you are really starting to 'get it'. No one should ever have to live in fear of the person they love. You sound as though you have really been looking in the mirror and examining yourself and starting to fix those things about you that were not allowing you to understand that you were worth a whole lot more than to be treated as your H was doing.
I am rooting for you JT, and we are here for you. Please keep posting your thoughts, feelings and dreams to us, we care and are listening.